How Laity Can Unintentionally Harm a Church

In the world of church revitalization and renewal, a question often arises: what can kill a church? While many factors can contribute to a congregation’s decline, the role of the laity—ordinary members of the church—sometimes gets overlooked. Yet, the attitudes and actions of the laity can have a profound impact, either breathing life into a church or slowly draining its vitality. Inspired by a thought-provoking list I recently came across, here’s a reflection on some ways the laity might unintentionally (or intentionally) undermine the Lord’s Church—and how we can turn things around.

Clinging to Smallness

There’s something comforting about a small, tight-knit congregation where everyone knows each other. But when we celebrate smallness over growth—sighing at the thought of new faces or lamenting the loss of “how things used to be”—we risk stifling the church’s mission. Growth isn’t just about numbers; it’s about reaching more people with the love of Christ. If we resist expansion because it disrupts our comfort, we might be prioritizing ourselves over God’s call to go and make disciples.

Complaining Without Contributing

It’s easy to notice what’s missing in a church—maybe there aren’t enough ministries or programs to suit our tastes. But how often do we step up to help fill the gap? Complaining about the lack of options while refusing to volunteer—or worse, leaving for a church with “more selections”—shifts the focus from serving to being served. A thriving church needs laity who are willing to roll up their sleeves, not just point out what’s wrong.

Holding Grudges and Fanning Flames

Hurt feelings are inevitable in any community, but how we handle them matters. Holding grudges, staying silent while bitterness festers, or storming out in a “blaze of glory” doesn’t just hurt us—it wounds the whole body of Christ. Even worse, subtly rallying others against the pastor or new initiatives can create division that’s hard to heal. The church isn’t a battleground for personal agendas; it’s a place for reconciliation and grace.

Consumer Christianity

When we approach church with a “what’s in it for me?” mindset—focusing on what we get rather than what we give—we miss the point. Worship isn’t about our entertainment; it’s about honoring God. If we never invite others to join us or fail to invest in the church’s mission, we’re treating it more like a club than a living, breathing community of faith.

Resisting Change at All Costs

Change can be uncomfortable, but it’s often necessary for growth. When the laity dig in their heels—forming alliances to oppose new ideas, clinging to traditions over scripture, or blaming the pastor for every shift—we risk turning the church into a museum instead of a movement. Folding our arms and looking bored when fresh efforts are made sends a message: we’d rather stay stagnant than step into something new God might be doing.

Undermining Leadership

Pastors aren’t perfect, but they are called to lead. When laity belittle their calling, demand they do all the work, or openly wish for a return to the “good old days” without them, it tears at the fabric of the church. Respecting the under-shepherd God has placed over us doesn’t mean blind agreement—it means trusting that leadership is a shared journey, not a solo act.

A Call to Build, Not Break

Here’s the sobering truth: the church doesn’t belong to us—it’s the Lord’s. Every time we let pride, apathy, or division take root, we’re not just hurting “our” church; we’re working against the One who bought it with His blood. But the good news? We have the power to flip the script. Instead of celebrating smallness, we can welcome growth. Instead of complaining, we can contribute. Instead of dividing, we can unite.

Next time, we’ll explore what pastors and staff can do to harm a church—because accountability goes both ways. But for now, let’s ask ourselves: are we building up the Lord’s Church, or are we unintentionally tearing it down? The answer lies in our hands—and our hearts.